My Favourite People

I'm posting these photos for my German and Greek friends and relatives who wouldn't otherwise see them.

My Granddaughter Elliotte...



Elliotte on Christmas morning. Notice how Santa was nice enough to put the train track together for her...



Christmas morning, Oma (that's German for Grandmother) with Elliotte...



There is a story behind this colorful dress. You all remember Sophia our neighbour in Greece? She wore this dress when she was a little child more than 25 years ago. When we left Athens in October we were presented with this dress for Elliotte to wear. She looks really cute in it.



Steve with Elliotte...



My oldest grandson, Justin...




My middle grandson, Bradyn...



My youngest grandson, Cassidy. Cass will be passing through Toronto at the end of this month and has asked me to knit him a hat. If your reading this Casss, the hat is knit and waiting for you.



It was a wonderful Christmas, it was just too darn cold. I hear though now that we've left they are having a Chinook, grrr...

Soon!

Just 22 days until we leave for Calgary and I get to see not only my granddaughter Elliotte but also this group of guys below. The three amigos I call them and they are my three grandsons. From left to right are Jay, Cassidy and Bradyn.

They are going to help me climb my mountain next year. The offspring is helping too, just as soon as my foot heals and my eye get operated. They may have to carry me up, but I'm getting up there...

Happy Birthday Elliotte

Today my fourth grandchild Elliotte is celebrating her second birthday.

She was born about three weeks before my Mom died in May of 2007. Every day I brought new pictures of Elliottte to the hospital hoping that Mom would rally. Two of my three grandsons came from Calgary and sat with her around the clock. She would have loved this little girl. She reminds me of my Mom every time I look at her, I think it's her smile.

Happy Birthday darling girl, your proud and loving grandmother.

What The #&%@

And it ain't over yet... good thing the snow tires are still on my car. By morning we are meant to have 15 cm of this stuff. I almost took them off last week.

My MIL survived the surgery and is currently in a medically induced coma. My husband is so angry that the doctors did not come to talk to the family after the surgery so they no clue what's going on. The nurses also don't speak and if asked why they are doing something the response is "because we were told to". Different country, different customs and very scary.

Two Years Ago

My beloved Mother was in hospital. She had already been there for two weeks with heart arrhythmia and we were waiting for an MRI that never happened. I was also waiting for them to give her a pacemaker which didn't happen until four weeks later. One week later she died. She died on May 12, 2007 one day before Mothers Day.

I am reliving that time as I wait for my twice daily updates from Greece on the condition of my Mother In Law. Today my MIL was intubated since she could no longer breathe on her own. I understand that this was a difficult procedure as the tumor from the thyroid had wrapped itself around the larynx. Tomorrow they will operate to try and remove as much of that tumor as possible.

My mother went into a coma the day before she died and no one was ever able to explain why. I was told that if I wanted to have her intubated I was only prolonging the inevitable. If she couldn't breathe on her own she would die, it was only a matter of time.

I chose to let her go as peacefully as possible. It was a difficult decision, probably the most difficult one I've ever had to make in my life. My husband stood by me in this time of crisis. I am unable to do the same for him. We are thousands of miles apart. I am sitting here alone in my house crying and unable to tell him, let her go. Don't cause unnecessary suffering. It won't change the outcome, the cancer has spread too far and wide. But I cant tell him that, not on the phone. Besides, he's not the only one to make decisions. Both my BIL and SIL want her kept alive at any cost. I suspect that even if my MIL had made her wishes known it wouldn't matter at all in the end. Things are different in Greece. Tomorrow will be a hard day.

The sad part in all of this...last September I sensed there was something not quite right. She seemed unnaturally short of breath and spent too much time sleeping. I brought it up with both my husband and my SIL and was assured that the doctor thought it was just her heart and the medicine she was taking. She was also hospitalized last March briefly and no one checked her over. The doctor now says this cancer has been growing at least 8 years and had it been caught even last year she would have had a fighting chance. Now, I think it's a crap shoot...

Heroic Medical Intervention - Who Decides

My husband flew to Greece to be at his very ill Mom's bedside on Thursday. Things are not looking good. She has thyroid cancer which has metastasized to the lungs and lymph nodes. She is having difficulty breathing.

Steve is not alone there, he has his brother and sister for support and I get twice daily updates. The brother (who considers himself head of the family) has decided in his wisdom that there would be surgery to remove the thyroid. The doctor has said it's the only way to allow her to breathe and not asphyxiate to death. He has also said that he would not be able to get all the cancer but there would be follow up radiation which would buy her some time, may 6 to 8 months. A cure is not in the cards. The health care system in Greece is public but surgeons are always given a few thousand Euros under the table. I can't help but wonder if this is why he wants to operate.

I have two concerns and have voiced them to my husband but really I have no input here. The first is that they have not told her about the surgery only that she will feel better on Monday! The second is that my MIL is 83 years old. How in the world will she be able to cope with radiation assuming she survives the surgery. Oh yes, did I mention, the doctor gives only a 50/50 chance that she will survive the surgery. Steve is torn I sense that, he said to me "if they don't operate she will die and I can't watch it". I know exactly how he feels having gone through it with both my parents.

All I can do is hope for the best possible outcome on Monday. I won't say what I think that should be. All I know is this; my MIL should have been given a choice to decide for herself.

We're Home

We've left the deep freeze of Calgary behind only to arrive to mountains of snow in our driveway and on the cars with a snow storm heading our way tomorrow.

Initially we were meant to leave yesterday but bad weather in Vancouver delayed our flight. Making a decision that we really didn't want to arrive in Toronto after midnight only to come home to a cold house with no food, WestJet was kind enough to change our flight to this morning without any charges. Aren't they kind...actually I love WestJet. It's a cut rate airline that doesn't feed you but you can buy food on board or bring your own. Drinks are provided any time you want them and they actually do two trolley runs on a 4 hour flight. Maybe Olympic Airlines could learn a thing or two from them.

The flight crew are friendly and helpful and a wheelchair was waiting for me at both ends without even having to ask. Now that's service.

I now have four suitcases of stuff to unpack and put away, groceries to buy, and Steve has to shovel out the cars.

And we miss this little girl terribly...and yes, she's wearing the right shirt.

Okay, okay...we miss her parents too. And now I'm going to sleep for a couple of days.

Do I Really Have To?

Wear this shirt...

A little male bonding between the offspring and the hubby. They went to a hockey game between the Calgary Flames and the San Jose Sharks and the Flames rewarded their attendance by winning 5-2. Steve's really a Toronto Maple Leaf fan but since they're in the dumpster these days he gladly cheered for the Flames.

Ti and me stayed home and did our own little bonding by knitting...

Tomorrow we leave Calgary and head back to Toronto with much sadness, well except for the weather. Can't say I'll miss that.

She's Gone Home

Her parents have taken her home and we miss her terribly. The next time we will see her will be for Christmas. I hope she doesn't forget us...

I So Need Some Greek Sunshine

Only twenty three days and we're out of here and if your wondering why I'm counting? Well that would be because here in T-Dot we have hardly seen any sun this summer, in fact this goes down in the record books as the soggiest summer ever... I think I vaguely remember two or three sunny days in July.

The tickets are booked and I can hardly wait. We will spend a total of seven weeks away and I'm off to Germany for two of those weeks. Last year I went to Wiesbaden.

This year I'm going some where I haven't been since I was six.

Before my parents emigrated to Canada in 1956 my Mom took me to her parental home in Greifswald to say goodbye to her family. Little did she know that she would never see her parents or most of her siblings again. August 13, 1961 Greifswald became a city behind the Berlin Wall and no one was getting in or out for years to come.

In 1946 my Mom escaped through the Russian sector to the west to meet up and marry my Dad. Because of that I was born in the west. Since the end of the war Greifswald would always remain firmly in Russian control and that last visit with me in tow was a little dangerous for her. But she could not leave Germany for a new land without saying goodbye.

In November 1989 when the wall came down my Mother was in hospital with Pancreatitis. She was too sick to believe what I was telling her. When she recovered I made her a promise I was unable to keep, that we would go there together and walk the paths of her childhood.

A number of things conspired to keep me from making that trip with her. There were always other thingsfor her to do. My parents made trips to Yellowknife for their grandsons (my offspring) wedding, trips to British Columbia, a road trip to Nova Scotia that I made with her. Then there were two knee replacements, my father's ill health and death and finally my hip replacement. And of course the building of her room onto our house took almost the whole summer of 2004.

Once we had Mom safely settled with us she was too frail to make that trip and I regretted not somehow finding the time and wherewithal to make it happen sooner.

The night before she died she spoke of "going home" and I jokingly asked her how she was getting there thinking she meant our home. She said "I'm walking across the bridge" and again I thought she meant the bridge on the way home. Checking some photos of Greifswald (compliments of my cousin) I now know that there is a bridge that separates the town centre from where my Mom lived as a child. Kind of makes me wonder...



Now I'm making the trip without her, a pilgrimage of sorts. To walk where she walked and to dip my toes into her beloved Baltic Sea.

Today I Contributed To Global Warming

Today we drove 412 km round trip to spend 5 hours with this little girl. Was it worth it, you betcha. My grand daughter Elliotte, who lives three thousand km away was in the neighbourhood, so to speak with her Mom visiting her other set of grandparents. Couldn't miss my chance to have a few hugs. I haven't seen her in one year, it was time...to heck with global warming.

Remembering My Mother

January 14, 1923 - May 12, 2007



This was one of my mothers' happiest days...she had just moved in with us into a room that my husband built for her. It was in September of 2004 and we were looking forward to many happy years for her. It was not to be and one year ago today my beloved Mom passed away.

This has been the most difficult year of my life and this weekend in particular was very sad. Even the sock war did nothing to take my mind away from my Mom. Today the socks are on the back burner as I make my trip to the cemetery to plant flowers.

Wedding Anniversary

Today is our 17th wedding anniversary. Seems like yesterday when we made it legal after living together for 7 years. That's 24 years total.

We will be celebrating, not just today but the whole weekend and boy do we have something to celebrate. Steve's colonoscopy went really well and not one polyp was found. Now he doesn't need another one for two years. And I'm feeling good although just a little sore in my leg but that too shall pass. Pretty soon I will climb that mountain...

One Year Ago

One year ago today I had to call an ambulance to take my Mom to hospital. She fought me and told me she didn't want to go, she said she'd never come home again. She was right.

And so began a long 6 weeks of watching her slowly fade away. With all the bad things that happened to her in the hospital I wished I'd kept her at home. That is my regret and one I second guess myself about almost daily. It's eating away at me slowly, and no matter how hard I try I can't put it out of my mind for long, it always comes back. The what if's...

Check Out The Loot

My friend Zelinde and husband John brought a cake, the first of two I'm having this birthday. We ordered in a nice Chinese meal and a good time was had by all.


So what does every girl need for her birthday? Some pearls, check...some wool, check...and the surprise, tickets to Cirque Du Soleil, Saltimbanco...wow.



This is the most beautiful Merino and will make something lovely. I just haven't decided what I will knit with it but there is lots of time to decide.

The pears were from my sweetie and I just love them. I may never take them off.




My friend of over thirty years, who doesn't ever bake, made a cake. And what a lovely cake it was too. Better than any cake you could buy and I felt honored that she did that.



I actually had two birthday cakes, one on Friday night and one on Saturday. How lucky can a girl get.

Baby It's Cold Outside!

Yup, we're in a deep freeze, the coldest it's been all winter I'm told. It's -14c (2F) with a wind chill of -29c.

My husband has two sons who live in sunny southern California and I don't generally talk about them. They know about my blog so I tend to respect their privacy. But today I'm going to kind of break that rule because there is funny story here.

Ari, the older of the two, is a very handsome thirty something bachelor. He would be a good catch, he's easy going, kind, gentle and in a good profession. Thus far though he seems not to have met anyone. So it came as a bit of a surprise when he phoned us this week and asked for a favour. It appears that he saw a girl on television and is somewhat enamored and he knows she lives in our city maybe even our neighbourhood.

It appears he was watching some home improvement show called My Parents House or something like that where the kids renovate their parents house because they think the decor is outdated. Two young women were on the show doing their parents home and one of these women has caught his eye.

He wants his Dad to find the parents, phone them and find out if the girl is single and interested and get him an email address or phone number. He is quite serious too he has phoned us three times now with this request. Is he nuts or what, aren't there enough women in all of LA? He said if she's interested he'll get on the next flight and head up here, cold weather or not. Doesn't he realize it's -14c (2F) here in T-Dot?

I found two matching names in the phone book so Steve is contemplating making the call, he's just trying to figure out exactly what to say. Did I mention they were Greek? Should be interesting when he does get up the nerve to make that call.

As for me, I had my pre op testing yesterday and that went fine and today I had my foot x-rayed. My GP is also convinced that it is Rheumatoid Arthritis and feels the treatment should be a low dose chemotherapy drug. That's the same advice the Rheumatologist gave me so I will have to consider it seriously. Next Friday I have one more meeting with the "Ablation Team" and then I will get a surgery date. I hope it's soon...

Lock Up Your Kids - Throw Away The Key!

My offspring has always been an extreme kind of dude, the kind of guy who on his travels to foreign lands doesn't hang out with tourists but gets right in there with the locals. Whenever he is on a trip somewhere my heart does flutters if I don't hear from him on a regular basis. When he hangs out in his home base of Calgary and goes back country snowboarding I always worry about avalanches and stuff. I think it's a Mom thing...

This winter has been relatively quiet over there in there in Teddy Land, after all he has a new baby and a house to renovate so imagine my surprise/shock when I opened his blog this morning and saw his newest entry.

Good thing he didn't tell me ahead of time, man I'd have been worried sick. I can't be the only mother in the world who feels this way, can I? On the other hand, maybe I'm just jealous that I wasn't there too...

Happy Valentines Day - February 14

Officially we stopped celebrating Valentines Day many years ago after a really bad dinner at a very expensive restaurant. Not only was the dinner horrible, the service was abysmal. Every now and again my Sweetie remembers to bring home flowers and I remember to go out and buy a card. That doesn't mean we don't care and don't love...

To both of us the outward signs of love don't matter much, it's the every day things that we do for one another that are much more meaningful. He doesn't have to bring me flowers, it's not as important as taking me to the doctor today to get a cortisone shot for my foot because I couldn't walk any more. There are way too many small things that he does for me to list but he makes sure on a daily basis that my life is good. In return, I spoil him too and that's a good thing.

When I met this man on Valentines Day 1984 he was just passing through Toronto visiting his sister without any intention of staying. I was at an impromptu dinner at a friends home when he arrived with his friend. We weren't taken with each other, he thought I was much too flamboyant and I thought he was way too morose. We had coffee once more a week later just to be sure and still felt the same way. A couple of months later I heard he was still in town and helping his BIL do some work on a house for resale and being a Realtor was on that like a dirty shirt. I wanted that listing.

Well, I didn't get the listing but what I got instead was the man. You see, this time when I saw him again he smiled more, seemed happier and since I had just bought a new house that needed renovating I saw the bonus in getting to know him better. By July of that same year he was living with me and by December we had bought our first house together. It was in my name, how's that for trust.

Most of my friends at the time tried desperately to warn me off this man; he wasn't good enough for me, they said; he's just a carpenter, you deserve better seemed to be the general consensus. Good thing I didn't listen. In May of 1991 we married and now celebrate twice. In May we will be married 17 years and in July we will have lived together 24 years. Most of those friends are not my friends any more. They judged him by what he did for a living not for who he was. In 1996 I became ill and haven't worked since yet he never complained about supporting me even though I'm sure two incomes would have been better for us, he just took it all in stride and did what he had to do.

After my father died and my mother had lived alone for a couple of years and it was starting to be dangerous for her to do so, he didn't suggest looking for a seniors home, he suggested building an addition onto our house and moving my Mother in. She of course was thrilled, she loved him as if he were her son. He worked an entire summer to build her that room and was a happy man when she was comfortably settled with us. When he came home from work every day the first thing he would do is go into her room to see how she was.

That's the man my friends said wasn't good enough for me. I beg to differ and am grateful every day not only that we met but that I gave it another chance to develop. Oh yeh, I'm still flamboyant but he's no longer morose and I show my love by baking is favourite treats and knitting socks...

Happy Valentines Day to everyone, may love be good to you...

Happy Birthday To The Offspring - January 22nd

Tomorrow the "Offspring" turns 42 years old, Happy Birthday Teddy.



This is him now with his latest offspring. To see what he's up to these days visit him at here.

I was just seventeen when he was born and I remember halfway through my 2o hours of labour asking the doctor if I could change my mind. I'm glad I couldn't, I can't imagine my life without him in it. I sometimes have a hard time believing I have a son that old though, somehow it seems like it was just yesterday...

Since I can't be with you on your birthday, here is your piece of cake...enjoy!

Postcards From Home

In 1956 my parents left Germany to emigrate to Canada. My fathers parents and siblings were in Wiesbaden and my Mothers family were left behind in Greifswald on the Baltic coast. Reunification was unheard of in those days and my parents were not the only immigrants to leave family behind.

My Mother never saw her parents again. They both died before there was either money or opportunity to go back. For my Father it was easier to go home but for my Mother, the Berlin Wall interfered. I have also never been to my Mothers birthplace and thus far have only met one cousin from her side of the family and that only happened because he came to visit us.

Yesterday I made a stab of clearing out a little more stuff from my Mom's room which has been incredibly difficult for me. Since her death in May of last year I attempt this from time to time but mostly I just walk into the room, look around and walk out again. Yesterday I found the postcards.

These are some of the postcards that my parents received from home. Cards from mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters and sad to say I can't read them. I read and write German passably but these are written in something called Suetterlin Script which hasn't been taught in schools since 1941 just a little before my time.


There are postcards from all the places any of us ever visited and some that I wrote to my parents from both Germany (where I spent 3 months when I was 16) and from my time in Montreal. They were all kept in neat little packaged with elastic bands around them.

For both my offspring and me it was almost a joke, "don't bring souvenirs, just bring postcards" was what she always said. The postcards that hold the most importance to me though, are the old ones. There are postcards from war time when my father wrote to his parents from the hospital where he (fortunately) sat out the war, and there are postcards from him to my Mom when they were courting. Fascinating stuff, now I just have to find the time to decipher them.

This is what else I found...
My Mom had three great grandsons plus the new granddaughter who was born one month before her death and sadly she never got to meet. The three great grandsons though, when they were young made all their own greeting cards. Birthdays, valentines, get well cards, you name it and they made them. My Mom kept every single card those boys ever made for her. Finding that stash took my breath away and brought tears. In fact I'm still crying. I'm going to pack these up and send them to the boys so they will know how much they meant to her, not that they ever doubted it. And Mom, she would have said to me, "weine nicht mein kind", don't cry my child...I'm trying not to, Mom.