Where Have I Been?

Here actually, the whole time here. Reading blogs, watching news and battling the mid winter blahs or possibly a depression, who knows.

I've been doing some knitting, lots of knitting actually and spending too much money on yarn. It's just too darn convenient to order on line.

Socks, yes always sock on the needles and this is a pair of Jaywalkers.



Also finished is a Silky Alpaca Lace Scarf but I used Merino and Silk.



This is one honking long scarf.



A vest that is knit from the top down is starting to take shape. I'm using Noro Kuryon for this one since I really love the colors. This pattern is from the Interweave Knit magazine Fall 2009 issue.



In honor of our blizzard it had to go out and check out the snow. Since it was still snowing the colors are not as vivid as they really are. I am starting to see some definition where the sleeves will be. I'm not really sure what I'm doing here so I'm really trusting the pattern and my ability to read it correctly.



I also knit some man mittens for my sweetie who always gets cold fingers whilst shoveling snow. At first he wasn't convinced he'd like them but now raves about them. All leftover yarn with double yarn so they are really warm.



And one more thing for me, a nice warm tam.



I've also been trying to figure out what to do about the hip with my regular ortho surgeon telling me that there's nothing wrong and the physiotherapist telling me that it's not supposed to hurt where it hurts. The pain plus the clunking that I hear when I walk is making me crazy.

My wonderful GP has referred me to another ortho surgeon who I'm told is known for fixing bad surgeries. If I can believe what I've read about him on Ratemd.com the man is a God. Better yet I thought I'd have to wait a couple of months to see him but luck is on my side and I have an appointment for February 17th.

I've also been watching and reading the news and tweets out of Egypt and a blogger that I follow is now fearful or his life. It would be a very scary time to be living in that part of the world.

So that's about it for now and hopefully I won't stay away so long...

A Reunion Of Old Friends

Does it look like we're having fun? Until the rains came we were having a blast reminiscing, eating and drinking. We are a group of Realtors who started working for the same company in 1980. Some of these people I haven't seen in 15 years. We range in age from 50 to 75 with me somewhere in the middle. Three people are missing, two deceased and our manager who is in a loosing battle with prostate cancer and was too ill to attend.

There were more agents working in our office but it seems this group always hung out together. We also got and gave advice and supported each other through many traumas over the years. This was the first time we have gotten together but we promised to do it again next year.

Meanwhile I've done the laundry, repacked the suitcases and we're on the road again tomorrow for another five days in northern Ontario. There will be no Internet, no blogging and no emails.

See you all next week some time...

Getting Ready For Hard Times

Well sort of, I mean I know that bad times are definitely ahead of us, but I'm ready.

Lest you think we're rich buying that much wine, let me assure you it was cheap. It's home make plonk actually and costs about 4 bucks a bottle. And we actually like it. We put up 60 bottles of the stuff, half Riesling and half Gewuertztraminer and it's very drinkable. At least to this non wine snob.
I am overwhelmed by the bad news out there. Job losses in Ontario are staggering. The national unemployment rate is 7.2% but in Ontario it's 8%. this is the largest job loss in 30 years. Now I know that Michigan for example, has unemployment rates in the 10% range but that is because the big three auto makers call that state home. They are, unfortunately responsible for their own near demise. I have owned and still drive a North American vehicle but I did have the pleasure of having German car once. My North American vehicles never lasted more than 10 years maximum and that's with spending mega bucks on repairs. And they want a bailout? I had my German car for 20 years and it looked as good as the day I bought it, not one rust spot.

Sales of homes in Toronto are down 48% over last year yet our city fathers wont rescind double taxation to help the situation (Ontario land transfer tax is double in the city). Most of my friends are in real estate and they are feeling the pinch. These are also the people who don't qualify for unemployment benefits. These are the very people who, when times are good spend lots of money to keep the economy moving. They won't be spending too much anytime soon.

Both our government and the American government are going to pour BILLIONS of dollars into bailouts and job creation programs. I've been watching the debate with interest. Some of the things that were in the American bill and were cut belie belief. How would some of these things create jobs?

Protectionism isn't fully off the table yet and that may make things much worse. Here's an interesting commentary on the subject. Canada and America are so entwined trade wise any kind of protectionism would be bad for both countries. I would hope though, that since Canada is America's largest stable foreign supplier of oil, and Canada also takes $100-billion more of America's exports than does any other country the people who are debating the stimulus package remember that. For both our countries and the world's sake.

In our recent stimulus budget there were some interesting things on offer. There was an increase in the personal exemption which is always a good way to reduce tax but the one that affects us directly in the Home Renovation Tax Credit. This allows a home owner to do a little work like maybe a new bathroom, kitchen or maybe even a new deck. There is a 15% tax credit up to $10,000. So that give you another $1,350 bucks tax deduction. This little goody is only good for one year and already we've had two bathroom jobs and a fence job booked. That tells me there are still people with money to spend. Unfortunately Steve may not be able to take the jobs since he is has been waiting for hand surgery since October with no date booked yet.

The automakers will get their pound of flesh too but they might have to re negotiate some contracts and take pay cuts. Maybe they will start making cars that people want to buy. If not, they deserve to go under and I'm sorry for all the lost jobs. But really, can we afford to support an industry to makes cars that nobody wants to buy and just sit unsold in parking lots? I desperately need a new vehicle as does my husband but we are loath to buy one now, we'll just make do. We also need to replace the tv which seems to have lost three inches of the picture in recent months but again, waiting is the order of the day.

Around here there will be less yarn purchased for a while and when I get groceries I concentrate more on ways to save money than buying things we want. Luckily for me having been poor before is now serving me in good stead, I really know how to stretch a buck. I don't like it, but what the heck, this too shall pass.

As long as I don't loose my vision, nothing else matters much. My fateful appointment with the Retinal Specialist is Tuesday, wish me luck.

Peace

How To Get Your Peace Globe

From My Travels

It is said that the things that costs the least, at times give the most pleasure and so it is with some of the things I brought home with me from my recent travels.

A bag of sand of the Baltic Sea.


I'm sure that some of you will think I'm nuts to bring home sand, but there was a good reason. It was were my mother came from, a place she loved with a passion and spoke about frequently. It is also were we were meant to travel together and because of her illness and death, never happened. Today I did two things, I went to the cemetery and spread a little sand on her grave and cried a little and I put together a little memorial for myself the things from her favourite place.

Some shells and sea glass.

And some stones from Ruegen called Huehner Gott which roughly translated means Chicken God, go figure! I have absolutely no idea how that name came to be but these chalky stones develop natural holes and when you fine one it is meant to bring you luck. As you can see, I found a few and they now hang in my window. I need all the luck I can get after the recent financial meltdown and the current state of the world.

And finally I put it all together...


These things will bring me joy...

Today I Contributed To Global Warming

Today we drove 412 km round trip to spend 5 hours with this little girl. Was it worth it, you betcha. My grand daughter Elliotte, who lives three thousand km away was in the neighbourhood, so to speak with her Mom visiting her other set of grandparents. Couldn't miss my chance to have a few hugs. I haven't seen her in one year, it was time...to heck with global warming.

The Sock War Is Over - I'm Toast

But I did get a lovely pair of socks out of the deal. My Assassin did a lovely job and I think the one target that I eliminated is also happy. This was a one time experience only, not to be repeated and details and picture of the socks are on my knitting blog.

Meanwhile we spent the past weekend opening our little cabin in the woods for the summer and battled the rain, cold and black flies most of the weekend. I don't ever remember a Victoria Day long weekend so cold. Good thing we have a good supply of firewood. It was too cold to open the pottery studio, way too cold for clay.

I'm not sure we can go every weekend as in days of old since now the cost of gas makes it almost prohibitive. The town of Haliburton will become a casualty of high gas prices, the town was almost devoid of people this weekend unlike anything I have seen in 20 years.

The Socks Are In The Mail

Rowan Falar, I'm putting you on notice... by Thursday I hope to hear of your demise, he he he... Now I just have to hope that my Assassin is a slow knitter and I can knock your Assassin off too.

Doesn't look good for me though really, my target and I have been exchanging friendly emails and my Assassin has been dead silent. That can only mean two things; either she's dropped out of the game or she's keeping real quiet about how fast she can knit and her bomb is on the way.

Either way, it was an interesting experience and kept my mind thoroughly occupied during this past very difficult weekend and for that I'm grateful.

While I was busy knitting the world is crying for dead and injured people. America has had tornadoes, Myamar (Burma) that horrible typhoon and now China with a devastating earthquake. Thousands of people have died and are still dying in Burma while their government led by the army refuses to let the world in to help. It is definitely to cry for...

I'm Here, Sort Of...

I do not like to blog when I'm out of sorts or if I'm not feeling well which is why I haven't been around. But I figured if I don't write something soon, you will all go away and I wouldn't want that.

I am seriously out of sorts these days and it all started with a two day migraine last week. Of course the only pill that works is the one I'm not supposed to take (Maxalt) but after two days of retching I broke down, crossed my fingers and took the pill. I'm still alive...

One Saturday we had our bridge club for dinner at our house and because I'm really feeling crappy (the arrhythmia) we had it catered. Everyone loved the food and a good time was had by all. Because I wasn't up to it and because there were enough players I got to hang out on the couch and knit instead of playing.

My sweetie has a really bad cold and I'm praying I don't catch it from him, hence he's been banished to the guest room. My heart ablation surgery is scheduled for the 29th of this month and the last thing I need is a cold. I'm sure they would cancel the surgery if I were sick and truthfully, I don't think I can wait any longer for this to happen. I'm pretty much at the end of rope here. So that's it and until I feel better no serious subjects, unless something crops up of course...just knitting

In case any one is interested in science, my offspring has a new blog, did I mention he's a science teacher?

Mistakes And Regrets

Last year in May I made a terrible mistake that will be with me for the rest of my life. We all do it, none of us is safe from making the same error it's just for some of us the repercussions will be worse than for others.

What was it I did? I injured my foot and didn't take time to take care of me. This mistake will now haunt me forever. Our basement had a flooded caused by an open water tap and we were all rushing around trying to clean it up. I was in a real hurry since I needed to get to the hospital to feed Mom her dinner. I was bare footed and just before leaving I bashed my foot on a table leg. At the time it seemed like just a bruise, nothing serious although it hurt like the dickens and turned every color of the rainbow. Even though walking on it hurt it took me almost three weeks to seek medical attention and that was the mistake and regret.

Almost everyone gets injured in life, it's just the nature of the beast but for some of us with Rheumatoid arthritis any type of injury is long lasting. It has been described to me thus by my doctor...

"when the immune system senses an injury it sends out it's little soldiers to deal with the injury, except they don't know when to pull back and causes more joint damage".

Last August before our trip to Greece I did get a cortisone shot in the joint and it worked. I was pretty pain free and I thought that the problem was solved so I was pretty shocked when one morning a few weeks ago I couldn't even put my foot down for pain. After struggling with the pain for the last month, taking Prednisone, anti inflammatory drugs and having more x rays it seems that really there is not much more more to be done. The last resort now is a chemotherapy drug called Methotrexate.

The information sheet given to me about this drug and further information I received from my pharmacist makes this a very difficult choice for me. This drug comes with a host of side effects from skin rashes at it's most benign and liver damage at it's worst. And the alternative is? Not walking or walking with great pain. Not much of a choice is there.

So I guess if there is anything to be learned from this is that I will now think about everything I do and make sure I never fall again and most importantly, seek medical attention right away...

The Winter Of My Discontent

This is pretty much how I feel today...

And this is the reason why...

This is March for crying out loud and we woke up to 15 cm of snow and it's still falling. I did have two Doctors appointments this morning which have now been cancelled. There is no way I'm going out in that mess. There is another storm predicted for the weekend and unfortunately so far the weather people have been too right. After a record breaking February they are predicting above average snowfall for March.

I'm also feeling pretty tired this morning, I stayed up and watched the results of the battle between Obama and Clinton until the wee hours of the morning. I find American politics quite engrossing. Canadian politics are dry and boring in comparison although I do watch Question Period most days (that's when they get to call each other bad names). Recently though things have heated up in Ottawa with the Liberal opposition accusing our Prime Minister of bribery and the Prime Minister threatening a libel lawsuit. This should make for some entertainment in the next little while.

Interesting times ahead...

Baby It's Cold Outside!

Yup, we're in a deep freeze, the coldest it's been all winter I'm told. It's -14c (2F) with a wind chill of -29c.

My husband has two sons who live in sunny southern California and I don't generally talk about them. They know about my blog so I tend to respect their privacy. But today I'm going to kind of break that rule because there is funny story here.

Ari, the older of the two, is a very handsome thirty something bachelor. He would be a good catch, he's easy going, kind, gentle and in a good profession. Thus far though he seems not to have met anyone. So it came as a bit of a surprise when he phoned us this week and asked for a favour. It appears that he saw a girl on television and is somewhat enamored and he knows she lives in our city maybe even our neighbourhood.

It appears he was watching some home improvement show called My Parents House or something like that where the kids renovate their parents house because they think the decor is outdated. Two young women were on the show doing their parents home and one of these women has caught his eye.

He wants his Dad to find the parents, phone them and find out if the girl is single and interested and get him an email address or phone number. He is quite serious too he has phoned us three times now with this request. Is he nuts or what, aren't there enough women in all of LA? He said if she's interested he'll get on the next flight and head up here, cold weather or not. Doesn't he realize it's -14c (2F) here in T-Dot?

I found two matching names in the phone book so Steve is contemplating making the call, he's just trying to figure out exactly what to say. Did I mention they were Greek? Should be interesting when he does get up the nerve to make that call.

As for me, I had my pre op testing yesterday and that went fine and today I had my foot x-rayed. My GP is also convinced that it is Rheumatoid Arthritis and feels the treatment should be a low dose chemotherapy drug. That's the same advice the Rheumatologist gave me so I will have to consider it seriously. Next Friday I have one more meeting with the "Ablation Team" and then I will get a surgery date. I hope it's soon...

Blogging Lite

This might be my only post this week depending on how I'm feeling. I did want to explain why though. I have a number of health issues to deal with this week starting with the Arrhythmia. It has been particularly bad in the last few weeks and tomorrow finally I have an evaluation with the anesthesiologist. Once that is out of the way there is one more meeting with the Ablation team and then were good to go for the surgery.

The second thing to deal with this week is the foot. This is the same foot that I broke in April of last year while my Mother was hospitalized and didn't heal well. That was of course my fault as I didn't seek medical attention at the time. There are conflicting opinions as to what I should do now but I need to get another opinion. I have tried cortisone shots and heavy doses of Prednisone and neither offered any relief. I am basically housebound right now because I simply cannot walk without pain.

And to top it all off I have a migraine and I'm going back to bed. The wonderful drug Maxalt that usually works in a couple of hours has been forbidden to me by the cardiologist. He said it could kill me...not really worth it I guess.

I will read all my favourite blogs, but unless I have something important to say this week I'll just take a break. I do have some knitting to do though...

Happy Valentines Day - February 14

Officially we stopped celebrating Valentines Day many years ago after a really bad dinner at a very expensive restaurant. Not only was the dinner horrible, the service was abysmal. Every now and again my Sweetie remembers to bring home flowers and I remember to go out and buy a card. That doesn't mean we don't care and don't love...

To both of us the outward signs of love don't matter much, it's the every day things that we do for one another that are much more meaningful. He doesn't have to bring me flowers, it's not as important as taking me to the doctor today to get a cortisone shot for my foot because I couldn't walk any more. There are way too many small things that he does for me to list but he makes sure on a daily basis that my life is good. In return, I spoil him too and that's a good thing.

When I met this man on Valentines Day 1984 he was just passing through Toronto visiting his sister without any intention of staying. I was at an impromptu dinner at a friends home when he arrived with his friend. We weren't taken with each other, he thought I was much too flamboyant and I thought he was way too morose. We had coffee once more a week later just to be sure and still felt the same way. A couple of months later I heard he was still in town and helping his BIL do some work on a house for resale and being a Realtor was on that like a dirty shirt. I wanted that listing.

Well, I didn't get the listing but what I got instead was the man. You see, this time when I saw him again he smiled more, seemed happier and since I had just bought a new house that needed renovating I saw the bonus in getting to know him better. By July of that same year he was living with me and by December we had bought our first house together. It was in my name, how's that for trust.

Most of my friends at the time tried desperately to warn me off this man; he wasn't good enough for me, they said; he's just a carpenter, you deserve better seemed to be the general consensus. Good thing I didn't listen. In May of 1991 we married and now celebrate twice. In May we will be married 17 years and in July we will have lived together 24 years. Most of those friends are not my friends any more. They judged him by what he did for a living not for who he was. In 1996 I became ill and haven't worked since yet he never complained about supporting me even though I'm sure two incomes would have been better for us, he just took it all in stride and did what he had to do.

After my father died and my mother had lived alone for a couple of years and it was starting to be dangerous for her to do so, he didn't suggest looking for a seniors home, he suggested building an addition onto our house and moving my Mother in. She of course was thrilled, she loved him as if he were her son. He worked an entire summer to build her that room and was a happy man when she was comfortably settled with us. When he came home from work every day the first thing he would do is go into her room to see how she was.

That's the man my friends said wasn't good enough for me. I beg to differ and am grateful every day not only that we met but that I gave it another chance to develop. Oh yeh, I'm still flamboyant but he's no longer morose and I show my love by baking is favourite treats and knitting socks...

Happy Valentines Day to everyone, may love be good to you...

Getting Serious About Cancer

Sometimes I think I've gone a little off track with this blog and I'm doing too many "fluffy" posts and maybe it's time to reassess. Now, I am not a writer, I have no journalistic background and have absolutely no illusions about having any talent. I used to desperately want to write, maybe columnist type stuff but recognized a long time ago that I lack both the education and talent.

I have a very complicated personality. I am very much a loner and loved being at our cabin for weeks at a time doing my pottery and rarely speaking to anyone and I spend most of my days at home now doing nothing but knitting and surfing the web. The other "me" was a successful realtor for 25 years which required major interaction with human beings, which I found amazing.

But I need to write about the things that I consider to be wrong in this world, the things that bug me and weigh on me. I guess I think if I get them out there they will bother me less. Sometimes it works, other times not so much.

My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before Christmas. If she is very lucky, she will have the surgery February 11th. She told me that the tumor is "ragged" and almost 4 cm. Doing a little research myself tells me that this is not good. My friend also has fibromyalgia and like me tends to put any tiredness or pain down to that condition. Problem was, this time her tiredness and pain were caused by cancer. My friend doesn't smoke yet it was the first question asked of her. Why, when so many other things cause cancer is this always the first question?

I did a post a couple of years ago on this subject and linked a CBC story called Chasing the Cancer in which Wendy Mesley who herself had breast cancer did lots of research into the chemical equation. Did you know that most face creams contain Paraben, which is a carcinogen? Or that antiperspirants have some type of aluminum that is also a carcinogen? And then there was the water bottle issue of a couple of months ago which seems to have been forgotten. Bisphenol-A is still around and is still going into our bodies. Of course it's easier to blame the victim.

So now my friend waits in line for her surgery and will wait in an even long line for radiation. It's enough to make me cry. There is not much I can do for her except to be there when she needs me and to hold her hand.

Where Have I Been?

I've been having a social life and now I'm paying for it. That's the problem when you have a chronic health issue and you go out socializing two days in a row. I really ought to know better but it was fun anyway.

On Saturday we went to our friends home for a bridge night. First we had a wonderful dinner provided by the hosts for the evening and then we played and laughed and played some more. There were 12 of us and we made up three tables. I can report that I was at the winning table and my best hand of the night was 26 points. That almost started my arrhythmia again...

On Sunday we drove out of town a little to visit with Bennie the wonder dog and his parents for a great dinner and then some more bridge. We were teaching them the game and had lots of laughs. Today though I am paying, big time. I think the next couple of days will be spent in bed just resting. See you when I feel better...

Blue Monday!

Have you heard that expression before? I hadn't heard that until just now on the noon news. As I was getting ready to head out into the -12C weather to get some groceries and perusing which of my long johns were the warmest I had one ear to the news. Seems that the last Monday of January is the most depressing day of the year, the coldest day of the year and now I believe it.

As I watch the Toronto stock market drop over five hundred points today I am definitely depressed. I can see my Cuba vacation evaporating before my eyes, sigh...

They say that when the American economy sneezes we catch a cold here in Canada but this time I think we are getting pneumonia. At least I hope we send them our current cold weather..

I Finally Caught A Break

Most regular readers and lurkers know that I have been having some health issues recently. The gallbladder was taken care of before Christmas and the only other issue left to deal with was the heart arrhythmia that had been plaguing me since about mid May of last year.

Various drugs were tried and tossed out mostly due to side effects that I was not prepared to live with. Both Metoprolol and Norasc left me incredibly tired, with severe leg and foot pain and worst of all severe depression. Those are common side effects I discovered.

I stopped the drugs and made some dietary changes the biggest of which was to almost totally cut salt from our diets. That seems to have had the desire effect since my blood pressure is now normal, my legs don't hurt and other than the normal winter blues I am not depressed.

My Cardiologist decided that heart ablation was the best therapy for me and I mentally prepared myself for that ordeal. Today I had my long awaited appointment with the Heart Clinic and surgery was discussed. He pretty much agreed with me that the stress of caring for my Mom and the stress of her hospitalization prior to her death could have caused most of my problems. We reached a mutual decision that since I had been good since before Christmas I wouldn't need this surgery at this time. That made me really happy. Of course it may still happen in future but as long as I don't have arrhythmia on a daily basis I'm good to go.

To celebrate I had lunch out with a good friend in beautiful downtown Unionville and bought some wool for socks. My friend also bought me some beautiful silk yarn as a present and it will also be used for socks, yup silk socks. I'll post the pictures on my knitting blog later this weekend.

Oh, I almost forgot...I got tagged from Braveheart for a Meme. I'm going to have to think about this one over the weekend.

Postcards From Home

In 1956 my parents left Germany to emigrate to Canada. My fathers parents and siblings were in Wiesbaden and my Mothers family were left behind in Greifswald on the Baltic coast. Reunification was unheard of in those days and my parents were not the only immigrants to leave family behind.

My Mother never saw her parents again. They both died before there was either money or opportunity to go back. For my Father it was easier to go home but for my Mother, the Berlin Wall interfered. I have also never been to my Mothers birthplace and thus far have only met one cousin from her side of the family and that only happened because he came to visit us.

Yesterday I made a stab of clearing out a little more stuff from my Mom's room which has been incredibly difficult for me. Since her death in May of last year I attempt this from time to time but mostly I just walk into the room, look around and walk out again. Yesterday I found the postcards.

These are some of the postcards that my parents received from home. Cards from mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters and sad to say I can't read them. I read and write German passably but these are written in something called Suetterlin Script which hasn't been taught in schools since 1941 just a little before my time.


There are postcards from all the places any of us ever visited and some that I wrote to my parents from both Germany (where I spent 3 months when I was 16) and from my time in Montreal. They were all kept in neat little packaged with elastic bands around them.

For both my offspring and me it was almost a joke, "don't bring souvenirs, just bring postcards" was what she always said. The postcards that hold the most importance to me though, are the old ones. There are postcards from war time when my father wrote to his parents from the hospital where he (fortunately) sat out the war, and there are postcards from him to my Mom when they were courting. Fascinating stuff, now I just have to find the time to decipher them.

This is what else I found...
My Mom had three great grandsons plus the new granddaughter who was born one month before her death and sadly she never got to meet. The three great grandsons though, when they were young made all their own greeting cards. Birthdays, valentines, get well cards, you name it and they made them. My Mom kept every single card those boys ever made for her. Finding that stash took my breath away and brought tears. In fact I'm still crying. I'm going to pack these up and send them to the boys so they will know how much they meant to her, not that they ever doubted it. And Mom, she would have said to me, "weine nicht mein kind", don't cry my child...I'm trying not to, Mom.

A Bit Of A Dry Patch

I've either run out of topics or I'm ignoring all the bad news out there. It's a gray, rainy and depressing day out there today, at least here in T-Dot. It's gray day on the stock market too where what little I own is evaporating by the minute.

I decided to go out for a bit to the local mall, get a few groceries and maybe a little yarn for a scarf for Elliotte. I'm standing in the checkout line at the local Zellers store and noticed the sign; January 7th - 10% discount for seniors over 55. I'm thinking about that for a minute as I'm standing there with some yarn, sewing machine needles and a lip liner to redraw my lips that seem to shrink faster than the piles of snow outside. It dawns on me in horror that yup, I qualify and have qualified for a number of years. Funny how that kind of creeps up on you isn't it...